Playing One’s Strengths With Talaat And Tai McNeely | HMM 56

EPISODE 56

[INTRO MESSAGE]

[00:00:08.0] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Her Money Matters Podcast, the podcast to help you take control of your finances. Join your host, motivational money coach, Jen Hemphill, as she shares with you practical, simple money insights into real life stories by women like you.

Let’s get to it!

[INTRODUCTION]

[00:00:25.3] JH: Hey there, thank you so much for tuning in. We have a fantastic time of celebrating one year birthday of this podcast and I really appreciate you being a part of it. We had some fun carrying out five different missions, we gave away some books that are authored or are authored by some of our previous guests on the podcast so that was a lot of fun and today, we have not one but two guest to introduce you to.

We’re making history if you will again in the Her Money Matters Podcast as a few weeks ago, we first made history with the first male guest, which was my husband and today, we have two guests versus a one. So I’m excited to introduce to you to today’s guest as they share the same passion as I do about financial education. In today’s episode, you’re going to learn why being aware of reactions and money stories are important and you’re going to learn what Michael Jordan and BJ Armstrong have to do with your finances, so that’s an interesting story there. And how lack transparency affected this couple’s marriage and what they did about it.

Let me share with you a little bit about this power couple, Tai and Talaat. Talaat and Tai McNeely are considered America’s number one money couple. They are financial educators that are on a mission to get individuals and couples on the same page financially and to experience the joys of financial freedom. They are co-authors of Money Talks: The Ultimate Couple’s Guide to Communicating about Money. They are also hosts of the top-rated podcast, The His and Her Money Show. Their website, hisandhermoney.com has been featured in numerous publications such as Foxnews.com, MSN.com and Business Insider.

So are you ready to meet Tai and Talaat? Because I sure am ready to introduce them to you. So let’s go ahead and do this.

[INTERVIEW]

[00:02:43.7] JH: Well, welcome Talaat and Tai to the Her Money Matters Podcast. I can’t say enough how excited I am to have you on the show.

[00:02:51.5] TM1: And we’re excited to be here with you Jen.

[00:02:53.0] TM2: Yeah, thank you so much for having us.

[00:02:54.7] JH: No, thank you for being here. I have to tell you, I’m a fan. Well one, your podcast. Two, your YouTube videos, I’ve really, really enjoyed that and just your passion to serve. That really has struck what you’re about, your passion to serve is just really evident and you’re non-stop hustle and just your presence literary everywhere I find. So definitely, I’m excited to talk to you because I wanted to share that to my listeners so they get to know what I’ve experienced and your perspective as a couple on money.

[00:03:35.2] TM1: Awesome.

[00:03:35.9] TM2: Sure.

[00:03:36.4] JH: So are you ready to dive in?

[00:03:37.9] TM1: Let’s do it.

[00:03:39.2] JH: All right, perfect. We can start with you Talaat, how you grew up with money and then I want to hear from Tai how she grew up around money. So let’s start with you Talaat.

[00:03:51.2] TM1: Well, I grew up in a middle class home that was very frugal, couponing, trying to find the best deals on everything and sometimes as a child, you don’t really understand that. You don’t get the reasoning behind it and I think that one of the things that hurt me as I left the nest and went out on my own was I didn’t understand why my parents will cut corners here and there financially, why I had to go to school with the Payless Shoes on.

I couldn’t go and get the Jordan’s like all my friends and why I always have to work to get money even as early as 11, 12, 13 years old. I couldn’t just say, “Hey, can I have some money?” do this, do that?” It was, “Well, you’ve got to go and work for it. What are you going to do?” And you know as a child growing up, you don’t always get the lessons that your parents are trying to give to you so sometimes you have to go out into the real world and you have to learn it from the school of hard knocks, which is what I had to do.

So although I had parents that were very thrifty and frugal to the point that they retired with their home paying it off not owing anybody any money, they did all the right things but that didn’t necessarily translate to me following in their footsteps initially as an adolescent. I had to go out there and make a whole bunch of mistakes of my own with my name on it in order to let those lessons eventually sink in.

[00:05:11.5] JH: Got you and you said it, with your name on it, that’s the big impact and how about you Tai? How did you grow up around money?

[00:05:19.7] TM2: I also grew up in a middle income home. My family, I had an identical twin sister and I come from five children in total so it was a seven person household and my parents were very frugal with money as well too. Very conscious of the way that they spend money, couponned every single Sunday after church, after eating a big dinner with the family we would sit down and watch like a light time movie and coupon.

My parents also shopped at a thrift stores and things like that and I didn’t really understand it when I was young. I just thought, “Wow, my parents are like super cheap,” and I will be lying if I said that it did not affect me or bother me as a child because I also saw my friends with lot of name brand items and things like that and I just didn’t have that but I will say that I never went without. So now that I am older, I am an adult, I can now look back and I can appreciate the way that my parents reared my brothers and my sisters.

I am grateful for it but it’s taught me how to handle money properly to the point where I was able to pay off my own vehicle without having a co-signer at the age of 19, a $13,000 car, I might say and I was able to put myself through college and get a degree in finance and I credit all of that to the way that my parents raised me. They didn’t necessarily preach to us like, “Save your money, do this,” but I saw it more in actions. That spoke louder than words. I’ve watched how they handled their money and so I tried to implement the same thing.

[00:06:51.6] JH: Wow, so at 19 you paid your car off and you didn’t have a co-signer?

[00:06:57.3] TM2: No, I did not. As a matter of fact, that’s a really funny story. I came home one day and I said, “Mom, dad, come outside and look at my car,” and I will never forget the way that they looked at me. My mother looked at me and she was like, “You went out and bought a car?” And I thought it was odd because I thought, “Wow,” because everybody I knew had purchased a car at the car dealership. My parents told me that they would never co-sign for me so I just knew that I had to go do it on my own.

So when I told them to come outside and look at my car, they looked at me and they said, “You were able to buy this?” And I’m like, “Yes.” So I now I see the smart thing would probably have been — I probably should have told my parents, “Hey, guess what? If you want to come with me I’m going to buy a car.” So if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would bring them with me but they were extremely proud of me and I decided that so much and I paid it off in 13 months. Every time I would get paid, all my checks went to paying off that vehicle.

[00:07:46.9] JH: Wow that is awesome. But I was amazed that you didn’t have to have a co-signer so you must have credit already established and all that good stuff.

[00:07:57.8] TM2: Actually I didn’t and I think it was just probably my work history. Let me take that back, maybe I did get a credit card my first year in college. So maybe I did have a credit card then but I could not have had it for maybe a year but I had consistent employment and I took my pay stubs up there and they approved it. I’m like, “Hey, that’s sweet”.

[00:08:16.0] JH: Got it. That is awesome. That’s great, so let’s fast forward to when you both met and if you want to share how you met, that would be awesome too. So share how you met and then how your money stories, how you grew up around money set the tone for your marriage.

[00:08:34.1] TM1: Well, we initially met in high school. We went to the same high school, we first met freshman year, dated kind of sort of sophomore year and then it was really after senior year that right at the conclusion of senior is when we got serious and started dating in a serious way. The irony of our story is that we grew up around the same situation as far as the way our parents raised us around money.

The problem was that we had two different reactions to the way that we were raised. So for me, it was a turn off. I wanted to be the opposite of what my parents were. So as soon as I left the house, so I enlisted in the military right after I graduate in high school, so at 17 years old I was going off on my own with my own paycheck. So I knew that once I got my own money, I want to do exactly what they didn’t do. I wanted name brand, everything from head to toe.

So I became a very reckless spender and blew my money. I didn’t emulate what my parents did. I strove to be the complete opposite because I thought what they were was cheap not that they were smart or wise with their money but I thought they were being cheap and so I wanted to go out and just spend, spend, spend and I spent myself into over $30,000 worth of debt and I had nothing to show for it.

It’s not like I went and got an education with the money or went and bought some real estate with the money. It was just a bunch of frivolous consumer debt, pay day loans, signature loans, furniture loans, car loans, stereo and speaker loan. I was just a loan for everything. If there was a form of debt out there, I wanted to know more about it and I wanted to sign my name up for it for some reason. So I just made all the wrong decisions that I possibly could and that’s the complete opposite of what Tai’s reaction was.

[00:10:32.5] JH: That is interesting because you said a key word, how the reaction was different. So you got married and you both grew up with similar upbringing as far as how your parents spent or taught you about money but tell me when you got married, did you have any challenges because you both had completely different reactions on how you saw money. So tell us a little bit about that and how you handled it.

[00:11:06.2] TM2: Actually the challenge is, I hate to say it, prior to marriage. We did the typical, we went and had pre-marital counselling, I thought I was doing all the right things by requesting that we both pull our credit reports and things like that and I knew that Talaat had some debt and some issues per say that I didn’t know that it was really, really bad.

I did not know that he was keeping some information from me in regards to how much money that he owed because he’s afraid. He knew that here I was, I didn’t have any debt, I have a great credit score and he thought that I would run away from him because he was the total opposite. So he picked up a second job, he was delivering pizzas and I thought he was just hustling really hard.

I’m like, “Yeah, I love this! I got a man that works, he’s working two jobs,” I didn’t know that he’s working that second job so he could hurry up and dump all the debt prior to getting married. The issue was he couldn’t pay it all off prior to marriage. So about three months prior to us getting married, that’s when we finally sat down and we had the conversation and it came out.

Of course, I was distraught. I was hurt because I thought, “Wow, trust,” you know? Here it is I’m about to marry someone, trust is big even in a marriage. So I had to do a lot of praying and just asking, “Lord, what is it that you wanted me to do?” And I knew that my husband was not — I tell people he was not abusive to me verbally or physically. He was a great man, all the qualities that my father taught me for what to look for in a man, he had it.

So I knew that hey, we could get through the debt because he treated me like gold and now almost 10 years later, his credit score is better than mine. He probably knows a little bit more financial information more than I do and hey, we’re rocking out 10 years later and I’m so happy that I did not let fear set me in and I did not let that tear us apart from getting married.

So prior to getting marriage we had some challenges so needless to say when we got married, we thought the best thing would be for me to handle the money that although we [inaudible]. I was happy that my husband said, “You know what? You’re rad at money so how about you handle the budget and you do everything?” And I said, “Oh, great idea.” But we didn’t realized that actually that was a bad idea because he started to resent me and I started to resent him.

I started to say, “Wow, here it is, I’m putting together the plan and you’re not really being appreciative,” and he thought, he felt as if I was a parent treating him like a child telling him like, “Here’s $20 or $30 to go spend it,” and I would even, once he went to work every single day. Why does he have to spend $20 or $30? So we bumped heads. You want to pick up?

[00:13:41.7] TM1: Yeah, it just took a lot of bumping of heads to realize that our master game plan was actually terrible because we were not operating as a team. Tai was doing 100% of the work and I was doing zero and that’s not the way a team works but also a lot of people hear the word team especially when we’re talking about couples and finance and they think that them and their spouse is supposed to do everything 50-50 and that’s also a false myth.

The thing about is a good team, a championship team knows how to play to their strengths. So we always give the analogy of growing up in Chicago in the mid-90’s we were all about the Chicago Bulls and so everybody knows that on one side of the back court, you have Michael Jeffrey Jordan but nobody really knows who BJ Armstrong is and that was the other guard, the point guard for some of those championships and it’s not as though BJ and Michael had 50% of the work load that they were responsible for.

No, Michael had much more to do and yeah, much more responsibility as a leader of the team but BJ had an important role to play too as a distributor, as the point man and the reason that they became champions is because both teammates played to their strengths. So it’s not necessarily that they each played a role that was 50-50 but they each played their role and they each played their role well and because they stuck to their strengths, they were able to win the championship.

So that’s how it’s going to be with your finances as well. So maybe both of you aren’t good with the numbers but one of you is stronger in that area so that person lines all the numbers up but the other spouse doesn’t get to sit on the bench and wave the towel and cheer the other spouse on. No, you got to get in the game too. So after the numbers are lined up, now you both have to sit down and discuss and talk and go back and forth and you both make the final decision as to the final numbers for the month. So you’ve got to operate as a team and that’s a hard lesson that we have to learn but thank God, we eventually learned it.

[00:15:34.6] JH: No, I think you’re so very right and I agree and congratulations on almost 10 years of marriage, that’s wonderful. I know in my experience too, just in marriage and just in talking to others, I always have, just like you, the belief that both need to be in the know of the money. You don’t have to both sit down and pay the bills but I think you brought up a really critical point, is knowing each other skills and using those to help manage the finances.

And being clear what your weaknesses are and know what your strengths are. So I think that’s really, really critical because I see that a lot where some women, since I work with women, want to be more involved or maybe they’re the ones managing the money but their husband doesn’t even want to even bother but I feel so strongly that both need to be a part. Some have some sort of role in some parts so I really love that you’re doing that.

Along those lines, can you run us just about a month of how it looks like in your household in terms of managing your money, just in terms of who does what and maybe the tools that you may use? Maybe if you sit down once a week or those types of things, tell us a little bit about how that goes?

[00:17:03.1] TM2: Well because I work at home, I’m the one that usually pulls up the bank accounts and I look at everything and I also put together the budget but then when Talaat comes home, usually once a month we like to do this prior to the month starting. We sit down and we go over the numbers. Now because we’ve been doing this for a while, our budget from month to month really doesn’t alter or change that much unless we have some type of expense that’s coming up unexpected.

Or maybe a vacation that something that we have to pre-plan for but for the most part, everything is pretty much the same and it’s set in stone. So it’s really easy for me to be able to maintain it about having my husband punching the numbers, all I have to do is just bring the numbers from the previous month onto the current month. We tried many different budget softwares, such as You Need a Budget, Mint.com, Budgetsimple.com, even Everydollar.com.

Honestly, a good ol’ pen and paper sometimes does the job for us. We still use — right now currently we are using You Need a Budget, so we see a new software from time to time but I also keep a binder at home and a little notebook at home where I write down all our financials. So it’s easy for Talaat to be able to pull it and look at it anytime that he sees fit. But a key point about it is that Talaat and I, we both have access to all of our financials. So he has access to the online accounts.

He could go on at any time so we’re not hiding anything. He could see the numbers but for the most part, that’s pretty much how we manage it. It’s not a lot of work and it’s no stress on our part.

[00:18:38.9] TM1: I think that is important to have conversations throughout the month from time to time. For instance, we have two trips that we’re responsible for in September so we discuss, “Hey what do you want to put away towards that for the next few months so when that time comes we’re all set?” And it’s all about keeping the dialogue going. Once you have that big meeting before the month starts, everything else is just follow up conversations.

It doesn’t require you both pulling up to the computer necessarily and looking things over but it’s important that you keep the line of communication open because sometimes, one can forget to budget something and if you continue to talk, you’re going, “Oh wait, such and such has a birthday this month, we need to get a gift” and so just follow up conversations like that. Don’t think that once you have that one conversation before the month begins, you can’t make adjustments.

You’re always adjusting, you’re always getting better. It’s just that the more that you do it, the better at it that you get. Just don’t stop even if you don’t get it right, the first month what you want. The point is learn from that and do better the next month.

[00:19:44.2] JH: Absolutely and I agree. I’ve tried different tools but I just go back to the spreadsheet. My good old spreadsheet is what I love using, that’s what I tend to do and definitely I love the point on communication. I know that’s something that my husband and I have work done over the years. We’ve had some bumps in the road there but we’ve gotten a whole lot better because it’s definitely that lack of communication on the personal finance piece and anything.

Just definitely put some stress and some tension there for sure so communication is huge and speaking of communication, I know that one of the biggest challenges with couples is actually talking about it that puts a huge stress on anyone I know that money is one of the top causes of divorce. So what would you say is your best advice or tip to help get that conversation started? Go ahead.

[00:20:54.2] TM1: I think it starts with transparency. Don’t make the mistake that I did and try and hide things from your spouse. You’ve got to remember, like we said earlier, you all are on the same team. Your spouse is your teammate not your opponent. It’s going to be important that you put all your pride to the side and lay everything out because for starters, if you all don’t have all the information about your current situation, there’s no way to make a good game plan of attack to make the situation better. If you’re only working with part of the information, then you can only solve a part of the problem.

So number one is be transparent. Put everything on the table. Too many people will walk around not even knowing exactly how much debt they’re in. They have an idea and usually that idea is way off because you don’t have all the necessary information to know what exactly is going on. So usually, we have one spouse who knows a little bit more than the other and that’s not good. You both must have a clear understanding of where you’re staying currently today financially so that you can prepare to move forward.

The second thing is to maintain a level of respect because again, you’re not going to win without your spouse. You’re not, you’re going to have a very challenging time progressing forward if your spouse feels disrespected and they disengage because of the disrespect. So you’ve got to understand and no matter where the debt came from, maybe all of it came from one spouse. Whatever, we all make mistakes, it’s not about yesterday. It’s about what are we going to do today so that we have a better tomorrow.

So it starts with you all being respectful of each other knowing that despite who has what debt, you both have strengths that you all need to move forward. So you have to be able to be respectful and understand that hey, what happened in the past is in the past. Now that we have all the information, let’s make a plan to move forward. So I think those two things are being transparent, totally honest and maintaining a level of respect that will go so far in helping you get through this because it’s going to be tough and you need to be on the same team to move forward.

[00:22:50.4] JH: Absolutely, I love that. Absolutely love that. So give us the inside scoop. You’ve got a podcast, you’ve got YouTube videos, literary His and Her Money is all over the web. So tell us a little bit about how His and Her Money was born.

[00:23:06.6] TM1: Yeah, the reason that everybody say that about us, about being all over the place and being on all the platforms, I have a background and education and one of the things that they harp on us is that people learn differently. No two people learn exactly the same. There are multiple intelligences and there are multiple learning styles and so that’s why we have video content, we have audio content, we have written content and it’s because we have such a passion to set people free from the bondage that being in debt brings.

So however we have to produce that content whether it’s on our YouTube channel, on our podcast, on our website, Hisandhermoney.com which is our aim to get you that. So we jump on Periscope, we’re about to jump on Snapchat, whatever we have to do to make sure that you understand that you have the opportunity, you have the ability, you have the power to change your financial situation then we’re going to do it but to keep our center hub is of course our website, Hisandhermoney.com. You could find the links to everything that we do in all the other platforms there so that’s the place to keep in touch with us the best.

[00:24:10.0] TM2: Yeah, our platform’s pretty much birthed out of the fact that we had a lot of couples that were all reaching out to us and we’d sit down and counsel them financially so and it truly is a passion of ours. So we said, “Hey, why not put it out online just to help others?” And we’e been doing that now for…

[00:24:28.6] TM1: Two years.

[00:24:29.7] TM2: Almost two years and we love it. We love every second of it. We love to get the reports, the testimonials, the e-mails, people say that they’re debt free and what they heard from us. It’s truly a ministry that we’re really grateful to God that he’s placed in our hands and he trusted us with it to be able to share with connections.

[00:24:46.0] TM1: Yeah, just before we logged onto this interview, we’re just reading the testimonial of a person who was just saying just that. That’s it, they’re debt free, they’ve just accomplished their goal and so when we read testimonials like that, it’s just so encouraging and lets us know that what we’re doing is effective and people are getting the message.

[00:25:04.7] JH: Absolutely. I can’t agree more and sometimes I say just reading the e-mails, the messages that I get, if those words if that can be a currency that is huge. It’s just so rewarding to see that and that just because you took it upon you and you had the heart, the willingness to serve, that your voice can impact someone and can make a difference because they completely resonated with your message and everything and that to me is just a huge, huge thing.

[00:25:38.4] TM1: Yeah, it’s totally mind blowing but again, it just shows us that what we’re doing is the right thing and that’s why we keep doing it because we know that people are being helped and really at the end of the day, that’s why Tai and I do what we do. It’s to help people.

[00:25:52.2] JH: Absolutely, love it. So since you are in — help couples and all are about couples and money, what is your take on, and this could be a controversial topic if you will, on joint and separate accounts as a couple?

[00:26:09.5] TM1: Not controversial for us.

[00:26:11.8] TM2: We come out and say it proudly. We are one so that means everything is one. We don’t just share the same bed and share the same children, we share the same bank account.

[00:26:21.4] TM1: We believe marriages are covenant agreements, not contractual agreements and so we’re not business partners, we’re life partners and so everything we do, we do it together.

[00:26:31.3] JH: I love it because I know of course, and talking to different couples, there’s different perspectives and obviously different upbringings, there’s so many things. I was just curious what your take on. I was thinking it might be that. Wonderful, so during your marriage what would you say is the worst money purchase?

[00:26:57.2] TM1: During the marriage, well we tried our hand in investing in real estate right before the bubble burst in 2008 and we ended up losing tens of thousands of dollars in the process. We thought what we’re doing was smart. All the people on TV were flipping houses so why not us? And we went out there and fell on our face but by the grace of God, we’ve been able to recover but that was definitely the biggest financial mistake that we made.

[00:27:24.7] TM2: It’s not going to deter us from doing it again. We will be doing it again but our timing, the timing was just…

[00:27:31.7] JH: Right, it’s about timing, it’s about the location, it’s about so many different things. You definitely have to, I did sell real estate for a while, so there’s so many factors in there. Well how about the best money purchase?

[00:27:46.4] TM2: Best money purchase…

[00:27:50.8] TM1: That’s a good one. Probably all the money that we’ve invested in books and knowledge. I think that far too many people don’t invest in themselves. They invest in clothing, cars, all things that don’t go up in value. But when you invest in yourself, man the fruit that comes from that is immense and so although Tai has a degree in finance and worked for one of the largest financial institutions in the world and I have a degree in education and I’ve been working in education for years.

We’ve never stopped growing in our knowledge because we want to continue to know what’s going on, we want to continue to be better, we want to continue to be in the know when it comes to our financial situation. So I think that investing in — we’ve invested in books, we’ve gone onto personal finance conferences, we’ve taken courses and all of that has just paid off in dividends because again, it just feeds our knowledge base and allows us to in turn not only just helps ourselves and our children but help other families that are around us.

[00:28:58.7] TM2: Yeah, for me I would probably say the best thing that we probably spent our money on, I would probably say giving. There’s no better joy for us than we can give and being debt free, completely out of debt, except our mortgage, we’re on our way of being debt free with that but it has allowed us to be able to be a blessing to so many people, different families, different situations. We’d been able to give with them knowing and without them knowing. So I will probably say that’s probably will be my top choice.

[00:29:28.9] JH: That’s beautiful and you spoke about books. What would you say is your best money book? I’m sure some of those books revolve around the topic of money.

[00:29:39.4] TM2: Right, right.

[00:29:40.2] TM1: Yeah, I would say for starters if you’re just trying to get your feet underneath you, I would definitely start with Dave Ramsey’s book, The Total Money Makeover. A next level type book is Tony Robbins’ new book called Master Your Money. It is incredible but it is a little more lofty in its’ information. So it depends on where you’re at in your journey. I would read one or both of those.

[00:30:08.2] TM2: Yeah and a lot of people are probably going to be like, “What? Is she really going to say this?” But a lot of people don’t realize that the Bible also has a lot of things to say about how we should handle our money and so we find that when we open the Bible, we read what our Father God has to say about how we should handle our money, I mean it’s really profound really to see that in the Bible and it teaches us how we should handle our money on every day basis. I mean “the borrower is slave to the lender.” So I will probably say and I will probably put the Bible in there too.

[00:30:36.8] JH: Okay, perfect. That is a very true statement there. Now as you know, because we’re going to wrap it up, as you know this podcast is all about making money simple and taking control of it. So I want to get both of your perspectives on finishing, especially you Talaat since you’re a male, is finish this sentence, Her Money Matters because ____.

[00:31:00.2] TM1: Because the Bible even talks about money as a defence and her money matters because if you don’t master your money, you’re going to be living a life without a proper defence and you’re always going to be under attack from Sallie Mae, JP Morgan Chase, Bank of America because you haven’t put a defence around you. You haven’t acquired the knowledge necessary, you haven’t taken the actions steps necessary in order to position yourself to prosper. So that’s why her money matters.

[00:31:28.2] JH: Perfect and how about you Tai why would you say her money matters? Of course his money matters too but I wanted a man’s perspective.

[00:31:35.0] TM2: Yeah, I love what my husband said, so I second that but I also would say that her money or his money matters because it will allow you to live your purpose. So many people are not living out their true purpose or even their true passion or desire in life because they’re burdened down with so much debt and so, yeah. That’s what I’m saying, nothing fancy, nothing too deep but that’s it.

[00:31:59.0] JH: Well that’s beautiful. Well I really appreciate you joining me today. You’ve been so much fun to talk to. I’ve always, like I said, I’ve been a fan, I’ve enjoyed everything from the podcast to the YouTube videos and I’ll be sure to link that up in the show notes. So I really appreciate you taking some time to talk with us today and I’m sure I’ll be connecting with you soon.

[00:32:23.7] TM2: Thank you so much.

[00:32:25.0] TM1: And we appreciate all the work that you’re doing to help women become more educated in their finances as well. So keep up the good work Jen.

[00:32:31.2] JH: Oh you too, you all too.

[END OF INTERVIEW]

[00:32:34.5] JH: What did you think of today’s power couple? They were fantastic weren’t they? I really love Talaat's analogy with my Michael Jordan and BJ Armstrong and how he mentioned that they were each playing to one strength. I’m going to get more into some of my thoughts in a minute but first, I wanted to go ahead and give a shout out to a special lady in Florida.

Her name is Maria Elena and she’s a member of our free Her Money Matters community. Now she shared with me that she has a struggle with budgeting, talking about money, she’s more of an emotional spender and her husband is a saver. So talking about money has been very stressful to the point where she can get defensive just because she spends as an emotional spender.

Now, she decided because of a recent loss in the family of her mom and some things that were happening at home or with the family that she needed to know what was going on with the finances because she reached a point where enough is enough, she needs to know. So even though she was dreading this, this was something that she was going to commit to and she did the Jump Start Your Money mini-guide and while listening to episode 14.

And as much as she struggled getting through it she got through it. She is clear on the numbers, she implemented and put them in a budget spreadsheet as well and so I want to say congratulations because I know that is a huge step, that is a huge milestone and I know there’s more to come so I am excited for you.

Now if you are in a similar situation like Maria Elena where you fear your numbers, that just thinking about it makes you want to run away or want to make you hurl, there’s different reasons for it and maybe it’s guilt, maybe it’s some sort of fear of something. There is a layer that you need to peel and figure out why. There’s a reason behind that fear and you need to dig deep and figure out why that is.

Because until you do, this will just keep coming back so you need to figure that reason behind why you’re fearing this, why it makes you sick to your stomach, just do some self-reflection. I know Maria Elena did and she dug deep. She dug into her money story and figured this all out and as she was doing that even though she was still having a hard time, she mentioned how she told herself that these are just numbers.

Because I have mentioned that in the past, the numbers are just that’s all it is. They’re numbers, you need to figure them out so you can establish a baseline to start to work from and also you can, if you’re doing this and you’re in the process of figuring out where the money is being spent so you can get clear on your finances, a thing that you can do as you’re doing it and maybe you’re getting overwhelmed, you can talk to yourself.

I know it sounds silly but you can ask yourself, “How can I make this simple?” Ask yourself questions like that that will trigger your brain to start thinking that way versus thinking, “Oh my gosh, I’m going to hurl. Oh my gosh, I don’t want to do this.” If you keep thinking that, it’s not going to make your life easier. So trick your brain if you will and ask yourself, “How can I make this simple? How can I get through this?” Because you can definitely do that, so Maria Elena I want to congratulate you and celebrate that accomplishment and I cannot wait to hear how else you progressed.

So let’s back to my takeaway from the interview and the love for that analogy. Now, I’m not going to talk about sports like Talaat did because I am just not a sports type person unless you talk about soccer then I can talk to you about sports but I definitely agree on, with your partner figuring out each other and that’s a conversation that you can both have.

If talking money is very hard for you and your spouse, one conversation that is easier to have, instead of talking directly about the numbers, what’s being spent, what’s not being spent, what’s being overspent, whatever the case may be is to get to know each other and talk about what are your strengths, what you enjoy doing as far as the money management and what you don’t enjoy doing.

So that’s just a tip for you that you can do with your spouse just to have a conversation if you’re having troubles talking about money and I also wanted to mention that even though this podcast is targeted for women, of course if you listened to the first podcast, I do this because I want to talk money in a way that is more interesting to you as a female.

That is more appealing but of course, his money matters too and one of the reasons that I feel so passionate about doing this is yes, to educate you. But a part of it too is, once you are confident, once you have achieved several things, whatever it is that you’ve wanted to achieve with your finances and gain that confidence, that’s going to strengthen the relationship.

That’s going to help you make better financial decisions. So this podcast, yes it helps women be confident, more knowledgeable on finances but it has also the effect that it helps the men in the sense that you are able to be more confident and talk better about money and therefore, it just helps the relationship get stronger. So I hope that makes sense and I didn’t go on a rant about that.

So that is just a little bit of some tidbits that I wanted to share with you from my take away from the interview today. So let’s wrap it up, that is it for today. I did want to remind you that if you are looking for a no-brainer way to work with me and one that is affordable for many people, I encourage you to look into my Fearless Money Sisterhood monthly membership program.

Depending on when you are listening to this, enrolment could be open or it could be close because I open enrolment four times a year but if you go to Jenhemphill.com/fearless, you can put your name and e-mail to be notified on when enrolment opens. Or if you go to that, jenhemphill.com/fearless and you are able to join at that time, that means enrolment is open.

So go ahead and do that, check it out, see if it’s something of interest for you because we have a lot of fun, the ladies in there do work hard and you definitely get a lot of support from them, from me and definitely can make an impact on your financial future. So thanks again for listening today. I want to thank Tai and Talaat for joining us and sharing their money story, your insights. So in order to find where to find them at, you can look at the show notes at Jenhemphill.com/56.

So thanks again and I will talk to you again next Thursday.

[END]